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May 4, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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DBT, mindfulness effective Abandonment anxiety -- preemption Rituals and procedures of presence, permanence, stability, and predictability Object inconstancy ---identity disturbance (emptiness) Mementos Programmed reminders Mantras Decompensation Techniques to tackle anxiety and panic (breathing, journaling and reading aloud) Acting Out (Self states, secondary psychopathy): impulsivity and recklessness Decatastrophizing Mirroring Techniques for impulse control (redirection, motivation,...
Topics: borderline, maternal, abandonment, high-functioning, empathy, social, cues, functioning, nonverbal,...
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May 2, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Would you want to be young again? If youth only knew if age only could. I know and can – but no longer want to. Every generation disses the next one, but this time is different: young lack basics present throughout human history. World homogenized and hegemonized – so no exceptions or enclaves, reservoirs of change. Young have only casual drunk sex with strangers, rarely relational sex (relationships are sexless). Lack skills for intimacy, relationships, family (even transactional). Hard...
Topics: Generation, young, youth, motivation, action, positive, negative, promiscuity, dystopia, future,...
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May 1, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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PROBLEMS in DISCOURSE of SEX No such thing as man, woman, just people (unigender, gender vertigo) Language male POV: penetration, not engulfment Studies only of college students, mainly in North America TRENDS IN HOOKUPS Decline in vaginal, increase in oral, anal: influence of porn Desexing of oral sex (“not sex”) Compulsive sexting on the rise, strongly associated with dark triad traits Increase in distress, depression, anxiety: few want to hookup (they prefer relationships), but everyone...
Topics: Hookups, one night stand, casual sex, relationships, intimacy, young, adolescents, narcissism,...
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Apr 23, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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The thing that amazes me the most about narcissists is the DISCONNECTS, the disparities, incongruities, and discrepancies. Between their self-awareness and the utter lack of transformative insight Between their often towering intelligence and their ubiquitous pseudo-stupidity Between the sagacious wisdom which many of them possess and display – and their pervasive inanity Between their goal-orientation and their ultimate and ineluctable failures Between their non-existent positive emotions...
Topics: self-awareness, transformative insight, intelligence, pseudo-stupidity, sagacity, inanity, wisdom,...
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Apr 18, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Most patients diagnosed with BPD lose the diagnosis spontaneously or with the help of DBT, but retain the dysfunctional behaviors associated with it. Robert S Biskin The Lifetime Course of Borderline Personality Disorder Canadian Journal of Psychiatry. 2015 Jul; 60(7): 303–308. Zanarini MC, Frankenburg FR, Hennen J, et al. The McLean Study of Adult Development (MSAD): overview and implications of the first six years of prospective follow-up. Journal of Personality Disorders....
Topics: DBT, healing, cure, remission, relapse, functioning, spontaneous, self-trashing, cheating, mate...
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Autoeroticism (regarding oneself as one’s sex object) often goes hand in hand with exhibitionism (becoming sexually aroused by another’s objectifying gaze). The more numerous the observers, the more intense the sexual excitatory state. That is why the autoerotic - mainly narcissists and psychopaths - gravitate to group sex with total strangers even in early adolescence. The autoerotic objectify not only themselves but also the partner, whose body they use as a sex toy, to masturbate with....
Topics: autoeroticism, exhibitionism, Self-trashing, cheating, mate selection, conflict, dysregulation,...
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Apr 15, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Psychopaths: no switching and self-trashing promiscuity. Sexual Masochism: Self-trashing in BPD, Cleckley (psychopathy). Feeling bad/trashed leads to sexual arousal. Self-trashing strategies: Despoiling Cheating (shame, guilt, immoral “bad object”) Substances Inappropriate mates Cluster B personality disordered patients are goal oriented. All goals forms of supply: abandonment (BPD), sadistic narcissistic supply (NPD), money-sex-power (AsPD). Each personality disorder has its own form of...
Topics: Self-trashing, cheating, mate selection, conflict, dysregulation, lability, borderline, psychopath,...
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Apr 8, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Three types of Borderline shared fantasy: Fairy godmother, Princess, Damsel in distress. Each fantasy hails a different type of intimate partner: Beneficiary of largesse, Fawning subject, Rescuer/savior. The Borderline snapshots her intimate partner as a persecutory object and this inexorably leads to decompensation acting out (=borderline mortification). The narcissist’s shared fantasy involves perfect love and adulation. It attracts intimate partners who are willing to play the roles of...
Topics: Snapshotting, photoshopping, shared fantasy, idealization, persecutory object, acting out,...
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Apr 4, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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The antinarcissist is a masochistic covert narcissist. His grandiosity is founded on failure, defeat, self-annihilation, and self-destruction as he seeks to merge with his empty schizoid core. The grandiose narcissist someone switches to the antinarcissist masochistic covert state. The narcissist is angered by the lack of narcissistic supply. He directs some of this fury inwards, punishing himself for his "failure". This masochistic behavior has the added "benefit" of...
Topics: Antinarcissism, masochist, recluse, schizoid, core, empty, self-trashing, sex, promiscuity,...
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Apr 2, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Borderline Personality Disorder is s form of CPTSD (complex trauma) and, in many cases, gives rise to compulsive sexual ideation and hypersexuality (“sex addiction”). In early childhood, the Borderline had learned to associate sex, pain, and love inextricably, sometimes owing to a history of childhood sexual abuse. Hereditary brain abnormalities are at play, too, predisposing the child to develop emotional dysregulation and mood disorders and lability. The Borderline sexualizes her emotions...
Topics: borderline, maternal, abandonment, high-functioning, empathy, social, cues, functioning, nonverbal,...
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Mar 29, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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People with high-functioning autism lack empathy and engage in criminal behaviors. Are they psychopaths? Narcissists? Autism is not caused by vaccines, that much we know. But is it caused by bad parenting? Refrigerator Mothers The concept of “refrigerator mothers” has been long debunked. Autism is a brain disorder and possibly hereditary. It is not linked to bad parenting. But a dead, narcissistic mother can cause her autistic child to defend himself by developing narcissism. ADHD has been...
Topics: autism, asperger’s, high-functioning, empathy, social, cues, functioning, nonverbal, vulnerable,...
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Mar 28, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Personality and Individual Differences, Volume 177, July 2021, 110780 Narcissism through the lens of performative self-elevation "We conclude that grandiose narcissism is better understood as one manifestation of the high self-regard exhibited by a related condition - psychopathy. Conversely, vulnerable narcissism actually is narcissism proper, a behavioral adaptation to cope with and to mitigate the suffering imposed by insecurities about oneself."...
Topics: dark triad, vulnerable, grandiose, self-confidence, self-esteem, compensatory, inadequacy,...
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Mar 28, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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YOU are REFRAMED IN THE SHARED FANTASY Narcissists reframe the way they perceive promiscuous partner to render them fit for the shared fantasy. Extreme promiscuity reframed as having been sexually exploited or abused (to preserve the woman’s essential “goodness”) – this triggers the rescuer/savior in him. Emotional stunting (infantilization) – this allows him to render her dependent and submissive. Lack of insightful self-awareness – this allows him to play the role of guru or...
Topics: Young, youth, motivation, action, positive, negative, promiscuity, dystopia, future, casual sex,...
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People under age 35 are walking dead who live in a dystopian hell. No higher functions. No intellectual life. No interests or hobbies. No conversation (“flat speech”): dismissive one-liners with no depth or background. As dull as drying paint. Actions don’t matter, the heart matters, motivations matter: they are negative, you are negative, even if you act positively and you will be judged negatively. Change from inside, yourself – and your world will change. When action ends, you are...
Topics: Young, youth, motivation, action, positive, negative, promiscuity, dystopia, future, sex, sexting,...
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Mar 25, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Sexual promiscuity is often coupled with what I call “life promiscuity”: throwing away one’s life (not only one’s body) as if it were meaningless, worthless, and disposable. Cleckley called it “a rejection of life”, Seinfeld (the psychoanalyst): “a life unlived”. This dual promiscuity is a common feature of psychopathy. The psychopath casts away himself, his prospects, accomplishments, future, and “nearest and dearest” like so much trash. Hallmarks of life promiscuity: The...
Topics: Promiscuity, sex, sexting, compulsive, denial, insight, self-awareness, stupidity, dumb,...
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Mar 21, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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There is always a discrepancy between one’s chronological and emotional or mental ages. When the gap is inordinately big, regressive infantilization sets it (Puer Aeternus or Peter Pan Syndrome). This happens when the child is not allowed to separate from the parent, establish personal boundaries, and become an individual. The primary objects (caregivers) objectify, idolize, instrumentalize, or parentify their offspring or violate the boundaries via more classical forms of abuse (sexual,...
Topics: Inner child, Puer Aeternus, Peter Pan Syndrome, age, chronological, mental, emotional, parent,...
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Mar 18, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Women choose "beta" males on Tinder when they date or have casual sex, not "chads". They want to remain empowered singles. "Alpha" males on Tinder are Dark Triad personalities (narcissists and psychopaths), interested in hookups. People use dating apps almost exclusively for entertainment, to boost to self-esteem, and to find an intimate romantic partner. When it comes to real-life face-to-face dating or to finding sex, the apps are a total failure. SCHOLARLY...
Topics: Tinder, dating, men, women, matches, casual sex, one night stand, romance, marriage, relationship,...
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Narcissist’s 4 Secret Buttons Precocious Child (prodigy) Conquering Hero (superman) Father Guru Divinity (Old/New Testament) Narcissists are agents of chaos and madness because they force you to think and reflect Schizoid cerebral narcissists are gamma men. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: Buttons, child, prodigy, precocious, conquering, hero, superman father, guru, god, bible,...
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Mar 12, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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More about victimhood state of mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIfTn7x6tzk&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3B44ProV_XB05Cd2MjvWxX Sex drive is autoerotic. Object relations redirect it. When we are atomized, we regress to being autoerotic in a schizoid state. Generational gap in psychology studies Gender vertigo: women – especially VICTIMS of abuse – more psychopathic and narcissistic. Confuse assertiveness with aggression. Emulate psychopathic men. Bodies in public domain (sexting, cams, digital...
Topics: Sex, love, in group, out group, minorities, colonialism, white, majority, conflict, narcissism,...
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Mar 11, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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A series of earth-shattering social, economic, and technological trends converged to render their jobs loathsome to many - a tedious nuisance best avoided. Text here: http://samvak.tripod.com/workethic.html Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: work, labor, identity, ethics, pride, product, manufacturing, consumer, producer, artisan, product,...
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Mar 10, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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The narcissist’s intimate partners cheat on him openly, his ideas and inventions are plagiarized and stolen brazenly and contemptuously, his property is seized, his children - if he has any - made hateful and alienated. All these negative outcomes because he steadfastly refuses to commit, invest, or compromise. Why not? 1. Entitlement: “I deserve the best, the world owes me everything without any commensurate accomplishments or efforts on my part”; 2. Magical thinking: “If I want...
Topics: Losses, conflict, pain, hurt, impostor, fraud, investment, commitment, compromise, schizoid,...
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Mar 9, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Self-sustaining self-sufficiency within firm personal boundaries is a sign of a stable sense of self-worth, maturity, resilience, and inner strength: the ability to spend time with yourself, productive and content is a gift. Self-sufficiency is intimately link to a sense of agency and personal autonomy (internal locus of control): a distinct, demarcated self; smooth, seamless, assured self-governance; and the capacity to act independently, based on free choice. These are the hallmarks of and...
Topics: Self-sufficiency, agency, resilience, strength, self-efficacy, boundaries, autonomy, agency,...
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Mar 7, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Why does the cerebral narcissist insist on having promiscuous and dysregulated women as his partners? Why doesn’t he target asexual or sex-averse women (for example: victims of abuse or hyposexual)? After all, he is aware of his essential asexuality. He enjoys sex only when he is grooming a new partner for an emerging shared fantasy. Once the partner is acquired and secured, he becomes celibate and loses all interest in sex. So, why go through the inevitable deception and acrimony in the wake...
Topics: Sex, sexuality, cheating, adultery, infidelity, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic...
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References Arnau, R., Green, B., Rosen, D., Gleaves, D., & Melancon, J. (2003). Are Jungian preferences really categorical? An empirical investigation using taxometrical analysis. Personality and Individual Differences, 34, 233–251. Carlyn, M. (1977). An assessment of the Myers-Briggs type indicator. Journal of Personality Assessment, 41, 461–473. Case, P., & Phillipson, G. (2004). Astrology, alchemy and retro-organization theory: An astro-genealogical critique of the MBTI....
Topics: mbti, test, psychometric, assessment therapy, healing, myers briggs, type, jung, indicator,...
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Mar 4, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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There is a revolutionary paradigm shift regarding personality disorders in the 11th edition of the ICD (International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems), published by the WHO (World Health Organization). The Personality and Personality Disorders Work Group of the Committee of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, edition 5 (2013) cravenly succumbed to commercial special interests, feuds among scholars, and visceral hatred of psychoanalysis. Find and Buy MOST of...
Topics: icd, who, dsm, apa, ego, harassment, narcissism, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder,...
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In their intimate relationships, schizoid cerebral narcissists allow their partners to be with other men as sexual or even long-term romantic partners. They are forbidden to have any contact whatsoever with women, unless the intimate partner is present and could terminate the meeting at any time. Why this lopsided doormat arrangement? For the following 9 reasons - watch the video! The narcissist's ability to engage in a shared fantasy rests of three pillars. The environment has to be rootless...
Topics: Cheating, adultery, infidelity, schizoid, cerebral, mortification, abandonment, soothing,...
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Mar 2, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Confronted with humiliating or shaming input, the narcissist revises all his memories and creates numerous false memories. He desperately attempts to convert an external mortification to an internal one: “I made them do and say these things, so I am still godlike, in control of everyone and everything that’s happening!” This is the misinformation effect. The narcissist has no idea what being human feels like. He has “empathy apahantasia”. That is why he needs to make sense of people,...
Topics: mortification, abandonment, soothing, grandiosity, boundaries, separation, individuation, abuse,...
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Mar 1, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Pathological demand avoidance in the bargaining phase of the shared fantasy explains why narcissists cheat (commit adultery, infidelity, have extramarital affairs). Some spouses elect to have extramarital affairs, deceive their partners, and remain in a marriage devoid of love, intimacy, or, often, sex. Why would any person in his right mind make such a self-defeating and demoralizing choice? Why not abandon ship altogether? Why eat the stale and putrid cake and still have it? In order of...
Topics: cheating, adultery, infidelity, extramarital, triangulation, mortification, abandonment, soothing,...
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Projective identification is a form of coercive control within the shared fantasy. It sometimes results in collusive infidelity. Paradoxically, serial cheating BUTTRESSES object constancy: (“he keep coming back to me, choosing me over all his other women”). The term "shared fantasy" was coined by Sander, F. (1989) in "Shared unconscious conflicts, marital disharmony and psychoanalytic therapy", published in J. Oldham & R. Liebert, eds., The middle years: New...
Topics: coercive, control, collusive, infidelity, projective identification, mortification, abandonment,...
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Exit the narcissist's prison, Truman show, or matrix: take the red pill! Mortify the narcissist and abandon him: confront, humiliate/reflect, then soothe. Soothing him creates internal mortification (he cannot cast you as the evil one and has to blame himself for his predicament). Mortification is combo projection, introjection, and acting out. Attachment style determined in early childhood and is about object constancy (absence/presence): created by balance between anxiety/fear (of engulfment...
Topics: Mortification, abandonment, soothing, grandiosity, introject, objects, childhood, boundaries,...
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Feb 23, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Your Twin Flame is Narcissist, Psychopath, Con(fidence) artist Twin flame, other half Idealized mirroring of an idealized version of yourself (past, present, future) Co-idealize yourself (narcissistic defense grandiosity) Same traits, preferences, behaviors, values, goals, boundaries, dreams PLUS (you on steroids plus added features) Legitimizes, sense of belonging, being seen (existence validated affirmed) He is perceived as either superior or a reinforcement the cavalry which will allow you...
Topics: Twin flame, empath, grandiosity, introject, objects, childhood, boundaries, separation,...
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Feb 22, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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There is an almighty confusion regarding people with low or no sex drive. Here is a helpful disambiguation guide. Asexual: someone who is devoid of an other-directed sex drive. Some asexuals do not crave intimacy, companionship, or romance either. Hyposexual: a person whose sex drive is either infrequent or intermittent and is distressed by this self-perceived deficiency. Schizoid personality: he finds sex unappealing, repetitive, and tedious and so avoids seeking it. Most schizoids also...
Topics: Sex, asexual, hyposexual, desire, HSDD, cerebral, schizoid, somatic, histrionic, distress,...
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Feb 21, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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These are chaotic confusing times and we are all baffled puzzled worried a trifle paranoid wary cautious self-isolating long before social distancing we all reach out and retreat approach avoidance because the world had become an enigma wrapped in a puzzle embedded in a mystery. We no longer feel at home. I will try to introduce order and meaning into the world as it is today by studying the way the world had always been, the immutable patterns rules that govern it now and always had, for...
Topics: Elites, democracy, tyranny, enlightenment, middle class, masses, narcissist, god, psychosis,...
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Feb 21, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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The narcissist's communication is a cipher, it is coded. Here are two simple rules: 1. The narcissist is never sad - and always mad (at you) and bad; and 2. When the narcissist says "I am bad" (is ostensibly repentant), he means to say "I am afraid" (of the consequences of his actions) Envelope: reasonable, flexible/compromising, socially-acceptable, commonsensical Hidden/occult coded message which triggers (pushes buttons) based on shared past experiences and speech acts...
Topics: Communication, cipher, code, speech, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic...
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Dissolving: negating the idealized snapshot of you in the narcissist's mind (internal object). Playing on amplifying the narcissist’s abandonment anxiety Note down positive, negative sentences about you. Repeatedly negate the positive, uphold the negative. Grey Rock Defiance: Intelligent? Act dumb Drop; Drop dead gorgeous? Neglect yourself, dress against his wishes. Physical weakness, illness, disability lead to catastrophizing (anticipation of looming death) and amplify abandonment anxiety....
Topics: snapshot, defenses, disability, illness, sickness, weak, health, object, internal, external,...
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Feb 15, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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"Alpha males are not born, and they don't achieve their position based purely on size and temperament. The primate alpha male is a much more complex and responsible being than a bully. Merciless tyrants do sometimes rise to the top in a chimpanzee com¬munity, but the more typical alphas that I have known were quite the opposite. Males in this position are not necessarily the biggest, strongest, meanest ones around, since they often reach the top with the assistance of others. In fact, the...
Topics: Alpha male, ethology, animals, cooperation, harmony, empathy, evolution, society, team player,...
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Feb 13, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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The infant (ages 0 to 2) does not verbally formulate "thoughts" regarding his pressing needs (which are part cognitive, part instinctual). This nagging uncertainty is more akin to a discomfort, like being thirsty or wet (states of being). These are transformed into permanent Self-states if the needs are not met. Self is constellated and integrated via satisfactory object relations. When object relations are frustrating or hurtful, the self remains fragmented into states, each state...
Topics: Self-state, needs, frustration, aggression, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic...
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Feb 13, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Parents manufacture narcissists either by not loving their children enough or by loving them for all the wrong reasons. The study of narcissism is a century old and the two scholarly debates central to its conception are still undecided. Is there such a thing as HEALTHY adult narcissism (Kohut) - or are all the manifestations of narcissism in adulthood pathological (Freud, Kernberg)? Moreover, is pathological narcissism the outcome of verbal, sexual, physical, or psychological abuse (the...
Topics: Child, childhood, parents, separation, individuation, narcissism, personality, narcissistic,...
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Feb 12, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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The narcissist confuses Possessiveness, driven by TERROR; Mortification (leads to INTROSPECTION); Romantic Jealousy: PAIN which results in aversion and withdrawal. Possessiveness is abandonment/separation anxiety & fear of loss. As long as object constancy (ownership of the partner taken for granted) is maintained, his partner can outsource all her sexual and emotional needs. He becomes possessive (not romantically jealous!) only when he senses imminent abandonment. The narcissist also...
Topics: Femme fatale, mother, maternal, romantic jealousy, possessiveness, narcissism, personality,...
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Relationships can never work, they will always end up being inauthentic, deceptive, and fantastic-delusional. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3 NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTg79xJ1-pDFkg-aBe9KXLw Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism Playlist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3RTSj7sW28ykk51HfHMNXQ
Topics: relationship, inauthenticity, Sartre, being, nothingness, desire, project, consciousness, self,...
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Consciousness has the capacity for nothingness which gives rise to freedom, choices, decisions, responsibility, authenticity, and, ultimately, self-identity. Being requires the involvement of the world, its objects, and rigid roles. It leads to dissonant and conflictive "bad faith" projects and inauthenticity. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3 NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to...
Topics: Sartre, being, nothingness, desire, project, consciousness, self, objects, roles, reality, choices,...
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Feb 10, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Freud, Jung, Kohut, Horney, Klein, Mahler, Kernberg, Winnicott, Fairbairn, Guntrip, Stern - all had their mutually exclusive and contradictory versions of pathological narcissism. What are we to do? Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: Freud, Jung, Kohut, Horney, Klein, Mahler, Kernberg, Winnicott, Fairbairn, Guntrip, Stern,...
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Feb 10, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Narcissists have no ego. Ego death means narcissism. Ego functions include: reality testing, impulse control, emotional regulation, judgment, object relations, cognitive processes, defense mechanisms, and a synthetic function. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: ego functions, reality testing, impulse control, emotional regulation, judgment, object relations,...
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Feb 9, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Separation is wound/void/empty core – individuation (“self”) scar tissue – dead mother (not good enough environmental mother who provides no ego care) creates Balint’s “basic fault” Ego formation disrupted owing to problems in object relations To fill the void: internal objects (phantasy, schizoid self-sufficiency, narcissistic grandiosity) or external objects (object relations, love) Relationships with internal objects are same as with external ones, owing to confusion. They...
Topics: Toxic, internal, external, objects, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality...
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Feb 8, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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More and links: http://samvak.tripod.com/time.html https://arxiv.org/abs/1806.05244 In his PhD dissertation (1984, Library of Congress), Sam Vaknin postulates a particle (chronon, time quark) whose exchanges yield Time. Various time quarks (up, down, colors, etc.) cancel each other (in pairs, etc.), creating time arrow asymmetry. Chronon is an ideal clock, but also mediates time itself (like Higgs boson & mass.) "Time" is the interaction between chronons in a field (5th force)....
Topics: physics, chronon, vaknin, suchard, reality, particles, time, universe, relativity, quantum
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Feb 6, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Dramatic (cluster B) personality disorders are drama queens and kings. Pandemic increases the need for drama (Lidija Rangelovska) MOTIVES for DRAMATIC BEHAVIOR Acting/distancing (Karpman Drama Triangle) Self-esteem via reverting locus of control Attention seeking: hero (gratitude), victim (pity) Victim or rescuer mentality Thrills, novelty-seeking, impulsivity Provocation (projective identification) Emotional blackmail Staging, life as a novel or a movie (theatricality) Manipulation via stress,...
Topics: Drama, acting, triangulation, emotional blackmail, manipulation, abuse, antisocial, battering,...
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Advantages of refusing to grow up (Puer Aeternus/Peter Pan): 1. I am a child, so I am harmless and vulnerable, don’t hurt me 2. I am a still a toddler, so I am helpless and hurting, care for me, help me, take care of my needs. This is an extreme example of neoteny. Schizotypy is psychological neoteny. It involves regression to pre-self childhood, when the self is either not constellated or not integrated, boundaries are fuzzy, and there is a confusion between external and internal objects....
Topics: neoteny, schizotypy, defense, madness, psychosis, schizophrenia, schizotypal, identity, narcissism,...
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Feb 3, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Jung's complexes, subpersonalities, Internal Family Systems Model (IFS), Ego-state therapy. Each self-state is narrative which provides a pseudo-identity. Pseudoidentities are ego functions (resources) and simulations (probes). In the absence of a unitary, stable core (identity disturbance and identity diffusion), the patient shape-shifts between self-states, replete with their own unique traits, affect, cognitions, and behaviors. In extremis, these self-states are utterly dissociated (most...
Topics: complexes, internal family system, ego state, self state, pseudoidentity, identity, narcissism,...
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Intimate partner enters the shared fantasy in order to facilitate the narcissistic solution to the schizoid state: serve as fetishized womb (mother) and affirm the reality and veracity of the False Self. She is misperceived as external object, when actually the narcissist internalized her to guarantee her functioning and prevent abandonment. Narcissist internalizes all external objects. So Madonna Whore complex is not a splitting defense directed at external objects (women), but at an internal...
Topics: Fetish, womb, mother, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder,...
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rotect Yourself from Narcissism Virus as It Evades Your Immunity! Narcissism Epidemic (Twenge-Campbell) Naïve susceptible population Wildtype, mutants, variants (isolates), and strains: standard model Evading immunity by shapeshifting and cloaking via mimicry Genetic drift and antigenic shift Reinfection Community transmission Masking (education) Social Distancing Gather outdoors (boundaries, no secrecy) Hand washing Vaccination: deliberate exposure to specific traits and behaviors creates (1)...
Topics: vaccine, immunology, virology, epidemiology, narcissism, pandemic, epidemic, defense, education,...
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Jan 30, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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The narcissist is happy AND depressed at the same time! (affective ambivalence). He regrets things he had done and choices he had made - but shouldn't! Summary of boredom (without nothingness philosophy) In many personality disorders, approach-avoidance behaviors, repetition compulsions, identity disturbance, and alternating self-states create affective ambivalence: two concurrently experienced moods or affects which contradict each other and are, usually, mutually exclusive. The avoidant and...
Topics: ambivalence, affect, emotions, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality...
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Jan 28, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Watch previous lecture from 03:56 . Karpman's drama triangle, Triangles and triangulation in Bowens' Family Systems Theory, Ackerman's pathological/perverse triangles, Victim playing, Learned helplessness, Bernard Weiner's attribution theory, and Fundamental attribution error. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: helplessness, victimhood, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder,...
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Jan 28, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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I am the last person to invalidate the harrowing experience of victimhood. I was the first to describe in great detail narcissistic abuse in 1995 and I coined the phrases “narcissistic abuse” and “victims of narcissistic abuse”. But when victimhood becomes an ideology, a career, a profession, or an identity (like identity politics), it is manipulative and pernicious. Such victims turn into abusers, obsessed with power, celebrity, and money. The only way out of victimhood is to assume...
Topics: victim, survivor, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD,...
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Jan 28, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Starts 03:56. The narcissism of the schizoid-narcissist predisposes him to experience all external objects as bad. He forces all objects - even good ones - to actually become bad objects by infantilizing himself (and so frustrating them) and by abusing them. Consequently, he spends most of his life reacting to these manufactured bad objects with a depressed-angry state followed by a schizoid-avoidant one. The schizoid-narcissist transforms every external good object (e.g., intimate, loving...
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Where do we draw the line between normal and pathological? I. Believing in Religious Scriptures Literally Quantity of followers: cult, sect, or religion Religious people as junkies God Gene Hypothesis DSM's pusillanimous Political Correctness Delusional Disorder and DID possession Marx and Freud on Religion II. Conspiracism and the Psychology of Conspiracy Theorists Paranoid Personality Disorder Schizotypal Personality Disorder III. Defiance, contumaciousness Oppositional Defiant Disorder...
Topics: normal, abnormal, religion, delusion, dsm, dissociation, schizoid, paranoid, conspiracism,...
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Jan 25, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Perfectionism has several psychodynamic components: grandiose infallibility, fear of failure, procrastination-avoidance, passive-aggressive sadism, people-pleasing (I can be loved only if and when I am perfect). Narcissist can idealize only internal objects - hence snapshotting. Why? Because his grandiosity requires that he idealizes only himself and internalizing an external objects makes it a part of himself, his extension. This is co-idealization. The idealized internal objects must be...
Topics: Paranoid, reparation, envy, good, bad, objects, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic...
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The Narcissist’s Time (link in description) https://samvak.tripod.com/narcissisttime.html Patients with Cluster B personality disorders experience no time (timeless), memory, continuity, self, or core identity. They are mere simulacra and spectacles. Most narcissists exhibit both overt (grandiose-entitled) and vulnerable traits. In my work, I suggest that cluster B patients transition between overt, collapsed, and covert states of their personality disorders when they are mortified. But, how...
Topics: simulacrum, spectacle, identity, memory, core, adolescence, disturbance, diffusion, personality,...
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Listen to Summary: 1:11:13 Sources at the end. 48:27 - 50:37 by Darlene Lancer, not Len Sperry (apologies). Narcissism is a core feature of the personality: primary narcissism in infancy is critical to the formation of the self, healthy narcissism helps us to regulate our sense of self-worth and guarantees self-efficacy. Like cancer, narcissism can become malignant and be triggered in its sick form by any trauma and in any mental illness. It acquires the features of the underlying primary core...
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Overview of Psychotherapies for Cluster B Personality Disorders Behavior Therapy Replaces problem behaviors with constructive ones via conditioning and reinforcement Cognitive Therapy Changes negative automatic thoughts and schemas that lead to attributional and other biases as well as errors in order to alter problematic behaviors and dysfunctional feelings and behaviors. CBT Third wave of behavior therapy: Primacy of therapeutic relationship, learning principles, analyze triggers and...
Topics: cbt, dbt, mindfulness, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder,...
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Jan 15, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Before they delete this video: share, favorite, like, subscribe, and comment! Fight back! Surf to https://www.instagram.com/p/CKEFsCwjRtK/ and swipe left: YouTube used to recommend each of my videos to MILLIONS of users. Then I made the mistake of criticizing the way government mishandled COVID, Black Lives Matter, MeToo, fake “gurus”, “coaches”, and self-styled “experts” online, and the pernicious movement of the covert narcissists who call themselves “empaths”. Thuggish...
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Topics: social media, youtube, facebook, Instagram, twitter, free speech, technocracy, oligarchy, ai,...
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Jan 13, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Narcissistic mortification is an extreme form of decompensation when all the narcissist’s defenses crumble as a result of a deeply traumatizing, challenging, and humiliating event. Mortification: event, dissociation, processing the event cognitively and emotionally (unconscious), choice of external or internal response Trauma: event, automatic (traumatic) response, processing the event cognitively and emotionally (unconscious), dissociation The narcissist copes with mortification in one of...
Topics: hoovering, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD,...
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Jan 13, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Personality disorders are narratives that disguise and defend against discontinuities in identity and memory --- Impostor syndrome (false self covers for true self)---grandiosity, hypervigilance, referential ideation --- suspiciousness --- persecutory delusions and paranoid ideation --- persecutory object. Persecutory object is an internal object that represents the intimate partner or others. If others, the intimate partner can collude in the delusion or oppose it. If she opposes it, she...
Topics: paranoid, persecutory object, narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality...
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Is Holmes a high functioning sociopath? Actually he is a schizoid narcissist Poirot? The same. Both cloak their sadism as moral uprightness. Are personality disorders merely culture bound diagnoses? Psychopathy as self-state, protective ego resource in DID, BPD (secondary), NPD, HPD, PPD. Philip Bromberg's work. Decompensation owing to intolerable anticipated or actual stress or trauma (CPTSD/PTSD): grandiose and fantasy defenses crumble and lead to acting out or to suicide. Emergence of a...
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Jan 11, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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All narcissists end life in a schizoid state. In interpersonal relationships, they progress from narcissism (lovebombing/grooming) to abuse (or to sadism) to discard (schizoid). This is true also in their careers and in their general social engagement and attitude to the world, as narcissistic injuries and mortifications mount and reach an intolerable crescendo, causing extreme withdrawal and avoidance behaviors. As distinct from the overt-classic narcissist, the schizoid, cerebral, sadistic,...
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Jan 11, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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People are irrational. They often act without rhyme or reason, against their best interests, ignoring the consequences of their actions or inaction, and under a bewildering array of interacting internal and external stimuli too numerous or complex to identify or enumerate. Overanalyzing is counterproductive. Most people are suggestible, aim to please and to conform, and prone to false memories. It behooves psychology to be way more humble and focus on dispensing good and tried advice on various...
Topics: Stupid, democracy, technology, analysis, critical, thinking, weak, society, knowledge, access,...
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Jan 10, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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SF=Shared Fantasy AND Science Fiction. From androids to actroids, affective computing to the Turing Test, uncanny valley to same-race bias, mimicry to symbiosis - learn how the narcissist dupes and lures you into his shared fantasy. Pollyana defenses (naive, gullible, counterfactual): base rate fallacy (everyone is telling the truth most of the time), people are good. Malignant optimism: exceptionalism ("he is not that bad"), savior complex ("I am going to save, fix, and heal...
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Jan 9, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Narcissistic and schizoid disorders of the self are one and the same and both can lead to psychosis. We all start life as traumatized schizoids and envious narcissists, but, then, our anomic civilization does everything underhanded to keep us this way and leverage our dysfunctions for social control and profits. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Jan 9, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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How does the narcissist cope when he can no longer obtain supply because all his sources have dried up or because he is unable to establish a new PNS owing to external circumstances or to internal constraints (he is covert)? The narcissist then resorts to self-delusion. Unable to completely ignore contrarian opinion and data - he transmutes them. Unable to face the dismal failure that he is, the narcissist partially withdraws from reality. To soothe and salve the pain of disillusionment, he...
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Jan 9, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Some narcissists are not gregarious because they have a comorbid Schizoid Personality Disorder or because life pushed them to become schizoid (see next video). They avoid social events and are stay-at-home recluses. Doesn't this behaviour go against the grain of narcissism? Howard H. Goldman (Ed.) in the "Review of General Psychiatry" [4th Edition. London, Prentice Hall International, 1995]: "The person with Schizoid Personality Disorder sustains a fragile emotional equilibrium...
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Jan 8, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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The narcissist is indiscriminate and promiscuous in his mate selection: anyone would do if she provides him with 2 of the 3 Ss (sex, sadistic and narcissistic supply, and services). Codependency and trauma are not objective but subjective: states of mind, not states of affairs. Codependency is a pattern of reactions to the presence of an abuse and the promise of abuse (comfort zone): intimate partner regulates emotions, moods, and mediates dialog among introjects. Abuser and victim are each...
Topics: codependent, dependent, personality disorder, narcissist, psychopath, borderline, blackmail,...
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Jan 7, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Judging vs. Understanding (Spinoza) Chair work: Think about your identity and your life. Now apply these answers to yourself, but this time, try to play both parties: Think of yourself as a victim And then Think of yourself as your abuser. Korsakoff patients, memory, identity, and confabulation in The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat and Other Clinical Tales by Oliver Sacks Prepare your brain as a fount of meaning in Meet Me at Infinity by James Tiptree, Jr. (Alice Sheldon) NEW CHANNEL...
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Topics: nothingness, narcissism, entitlement, grandiosity, meaning, sense, life, dominance, hierarchy,...
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The narcissist’s shared fantasy occurs with any type of source of supply of any kind (primary or secondary): friends, family, business associates, and intimate partners. Grandiose narcissists react to animosity, contempt, and hostility by disengaging from the offender(banning/blocking, not responding). Only in the case of a shared fantasy, do they attempt to first stalk the perceived transgressor or to hoover her before they relent and disengage. The same subspecies of narcissist react with...
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Jan 3, 2021 Sam Vaknin
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Learn more by reading Habermas, Fukuyama, and Foucault. All justice-seeking movements start with grievances (injustices). They decry and seek to remedy and reverse individual transgression (eg, the narcissistic abuse online movement) or societal and cultural biases (implicit and explicit), discrimination, and suppression. The victims organize themselves around exclusionary identity politics and intersectionality and this orientation results in grandiosity and entitlement, in other words: in...
Topics: Social, movement, justice, minority, majority, discrimination, injustice, bias, economics,...
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New study, “The Tendency for Interpersonal Victimhood: The Personality Construct and its Consequences”. All narcissists are collapsed and suffer from the Impostor Syndrome Problem of attribution: many internal objects used to be external. Confusion leads to narcissism or to psychosis. The Typology of inner objects corresponds to Jungian archetypes: Self as the authentic voice (in attribution) Jung: "The shadow, the wise old man, the child, the mother ... and her counterpart, the...
Topics: narcissist, psychosis, psychopath, borderline, splitting, dissociation, addiction, internal,...
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Dec 30, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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The important elements of testability, verifiability, refutability, falsifiability, and repeatability – are all largely missing from psychological theories and plots. No experiment could be designed to test the statements within the plot, to establish their truth-value and, thus, to convert them to theorems or hypotheses in a theory. There are four reasons to account for this inability to test and prove (or falsify) psychological theories: 1. Ethical – Experiments would have to be...
Topics: psychology, psychiatry, brain, mind, science, theory, falsifiability, people, experiments,...
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Dec 30, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Inner dialog: be somebody+do something of your life. Translation: Don’t be yourself and treat your life as raw material or a passive object. Relative positioning (like social media): Anxiety, depression. Introjects: voices (example: inner critic or superego which could be prosocial or sadistic). Socialization and its agents (parents, role models, peers and their pressure to conform, institutions, mass media). Map of Happiness. Subject inner dialog to scrutiny as you would a scientific theory:...
Topics: Inner dialog, narrative, plot, mind, psychology, personality, self, meaning, sense, healing, peace,...
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Dec 30, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Find your shadow and the shadows of people around you – even of institutions and collectives - in one (or more!) of these types. Everyone has a “shadow”: a dark side (with some positive elements) in the unconscious where all things uncomfortable, repressed, denied, and ego dystonic go. NEW CHANNEL Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTg79xJ1-pDFkg-aBe9KXLw Nothingness: Antidote to Narcissism Playlist...
Topics: shadow, psychology, psychiatry, soul, nothingness, dark side, types, disorders, mental health,...
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Dec 27, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Two wrongs never make you right. If you cheat on your cheating narcissist - you are still a cheater. If you abuse your abuser - you are an abuser yourself. If you behave like a psychopath - then you are one. If you mirror evil - you become it. Stare into the abyss and it will consume you whole. Being a victim is not a license to join the ranks of your tormentors. Beware of self-righteousness and moral superiority: they are paving stones on the path to hell. Are you victim – or narcissist –...
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Topics: abuse, antisocial, battering, divorce, domestic violence, dsm-iv, ego, harassment, narcissism,...
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Dec 23, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Download the first chapter here: http://samvak.tripod.com/goldfish.doc My Goldfish, Fredericka In her algae-ridden aquarium, my goldfish, Fredericka “Freddush” invariably appeared to be happy. She never complained, except when cold or hungry. She circled in the water, fins erect, mouth agape, the better to catch food morsels. I don’t really know if she was happy or not, of course. I don’t even know if she was capable of happiness or, if she was, whether her brand of happiness resembled...
Topics: nothingness, narcissism, entitlement, grandiosity, meaning, sense, life, dominance, hierarchy,...
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The Power Threat Meaning Framework is a new perspective on why people sometimes experience a whole range of forms of distress, confusion, fear, despair, and troubled or troubling behaviour. It is an alternative to the more traditional models based on psychiatric diagnosis. Cold Therapy and Nothingness: False Self is organizing and explanatory principle and generator of meaning. By dismantling, the narcissist re-experiences his traumas and must try to make sense of them (construct a new...
Topics: nothingness, narcissism, entitlement, grandiosity, meaning, sense, life, dominance, hierarchy,...
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Dec 17, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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How to Divorce a Narcissist or a Psychopath - click on the links (they apply to all types of relationships with narcissistic or psychopathic abusers of both genders): http://vaksam.tripod.com/5.html http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse3.html http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse18.html http://vaksam.tripod.com/abuse.html http://vaksam.tripod.com/abusefamily.html http://vaksam.tripod.com/faq1.html Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store:...
Topics: abuse, antisocial, battering, divorce, domestic violence, dsm-iv, ego, harassment, narcissism,...
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Nov 8, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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The narcissist and his borderline partner swap their projected Shadows, seeking to legitimize them and to experience these forbidden aspects of themselves by merging and fusing with the intimate partner. This dynamic involves porous personal boundaries and the mourning of a bad, dead object. The narcissist’s experience of his life is best described by resorting to a conveyance metaphor: movie, car, train, bus, boat. He suffers from object inconstancy: both internal and external. This leads to...
Topics: Borderline, codependent, narcissist, intimacy, fantasy, shadow, love, vicarious, legitimize, self,...
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Covert Borderline (starts 18:30 ) is a proposed evidence-based diagnosis - watch previous video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvjha_DRQvo This video describes the differential diagnoses between the covert borderline, the overt (classic) narcissist, and the two varieties of psychopaths: primary and secondary. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: Narcissist, psychopath, borderline, covert, overt, classic, primary, secondary, personality...
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Nov 4, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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The intimate partner as a mother allows narcissist to SAFELY explore femininity in general and his femininity (auto-eroticism and latent homosexuality) in particular (without the threat of sex). This is one example of how the intimate partner is indispensable in regulating the narcissist’s internal mental space: she is his ego AND self!!! Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: Narcissist, intimate partner, shared fantasy, ego, self, relationship, sexuality, imaginary, freud,...
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Nov 4, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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A paracosm is a detailed imaginary world. A shared fantasy is a paracosm of sorts. The shared fantasy is a paracosm with two imaginary friends: Father (false self)-Mother (YOU, the intimate partner)-Son (narcissist) = holy family = trinity (in the Kabbalah where many attributes of god and of creation are feminine; Jung’s archetypes). The intimate partner as a mother allows narcissist to SAFELY explore femininity in general and his femininity (auto-eroticism and in some cases, latent...
Topics: Paracosm, imaginary, reality, fantasy, intimate, partner, sex, cerebral, somatic, narcissist,...
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Oct 31, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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New Nothingness playlist on this channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vzBf9QvClo&list=PLsh_y_ett4o3RTSj7sW28ykk51HfHMNXQ My narcissist is not self-aware, he is possessive and jealous, and he does the cheating! These are all anecdotal myths. The narcissist regards sex as the antithesis of intimacy. Emotions have nothing to do with having a self. They are autonomic functions determined by a combination of biology and socialization. Idealization as self-gaslighting, false and grandiose....
Topics: Narcissism, women, religion, hurt, neurobiology, brain, mind, self-awareness, cheating, possessive,...
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Oct 28, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Auto- or self-gaslighting: when you hear only what you want to hear, what you expect to hear, and not what was actually said. Confirmation bias. Resistance to change and learning coupled with impaired reality testing. Future faking is not lovebombing or grooming in pre-shared fantasy phase: narcissist is not predatory, but acquisitive. Healthy adults in intimate relationships have a fear of loss and abandonment + possessiveness + competition. The cerebral narcissist has only separation anxiety...
Topics: narcissist, intimate partner, gaslighting, future faking, shared fantasy, predatory, romantic...
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Oct 25, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Topic starts 12:30 Self-states of a psychopath (con artist, Internet fraudster). Do psychopaths have a conscience? Do they know they are lying? Do they believe their own lies? Are they delusional? Do they multiple personalities or merely a brain disorder? Based on: RESEARCH INTO THE VOICES OF THE PSYCHOPATHIC PREDATOR: AN ANALYTICAL CASE STUDY Kreuter, Eric Anton. International Journal of Psychology Research 7.2 (2012): 109-141. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store:...
Topics: Psychopath, cyberpath, fraudster, con artist, victim, narcissist, brain, delusion, dissociation,...
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Oct 25, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Topic starts 21:45 Beautiful graphic of the types of contempt (courtesy Haley Martin): https://www.instagram.com/p/CGserHlDad3/ The narcissist and psychopath have contempt for: weakness; perceived inferiority (moral, intellectual) and this contempt often masquerades as altruism and sanctimonious self-righteousness; for inadequacy: win-lose zero sum failure, loser; emotions (especially on display); vulnerability; neediness, clinging; attachment/bonding/love; empathy; altruism; The narcissist...
Topics: contempt, disdain, weakness, perception, inferiority, moral, intellectual, altruism, sanctimonious,...
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Oct 21, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Topic Starts 16:20. In early childhood, borderlines and narcissists fail to split the “dead mother” into good and bad objects or “breasts” (because she is all bad), so they split themselves instead (into a true self which is all bad, and a false self which is all good). The narcissist tries to complete the early failed maternal splitting with his intimate partner (repetition compulsion) in three stages: 1. She is all good (idealization), he is all bad; 2. Co-idealization (if she is...
Topics: Narcissist, borderline, splitting, repression, denial, projection, identification, intimate...
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Oct 19, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Interview (in Hebrew) with Sam Vaknin, conducted in 1987: economics, the future, technology, law, society, science, and philosophy.
Topics: sam vaknin, biography, economics, future, technology, society, philosophy, science
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Oct 18, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Betrayal trauma and betrayal trauma blindness (Jennifer Freyd et al.) in BTT (Betrayal Trauma Theory) When you cannot or are not allowed to express your experience of trauma and abuse, breach of trust, negative emotions, and profound betrayal by someone you depend on in any crucial way. Such denial and repression lead to dissociation and a host of long-term mental health disorders. Tests and treatments are reviewed. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store:...
Topics: Betrayal, trauma, child, caregiver, abuse, dissociation, psychopathology, mental health, mental...
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Oct 17, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Cue card, or prayer card, or cheat sheet, or scorecard download links below! Keep it in your shirt pocket, or pocket in back of those tight jeans, print it out, tape it on the fridge, make copies and distribute, print on t-shirts and big mugs (unlike Minnie), on leaflets, upload to your social media, share with family, friends, and therapists. Read the text only, no interpretations: distillation of everything we know about ... Coping with Abuse Tips Sheet Abuse tips...
Topics: stalker, abuser, abuse, mind, obsession, intrusive, thoughts, fears, hoovering, introjects,...
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Oct 15, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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All of us have narcissistic TRAITS. Some of us even develop a narcissistic PERSONALITY, or a narcissistic STYLE. Moreover, narcissism is a SPECTRUM of behaviors - from the healthy to the utterly pathological, from lesser to greater to greatest (a condition known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or NPD) to the ultimate (malignant or psychopathic narcissism). Healthy narcissism develops in infancy and is the indispensable foundation of one's sense of self-worth (self-esteem and...
Topics: narcissism, personality, narcissistic, narcissistic personality disorder, NPD, psychopaths,...
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Oct 13, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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Narcissist’s uses narcissistic supply to regulate his internal environment and seek equilibrium among the communicating vessels of his psychodynamic needs and processes. Lidija Rangelovska’s Collapsed Source of Narcissistic Supply (CSNS) Collapsed Pathological Narcissistic Space Collapsed primary Narcissistic Supply Auto or self-supply Collapsed Source of Narcissistic Supply – narcissist seeks more Primary Narcissistic Supply and Auto- or self-supply Collapsed Primary Narcissistic Supply...
Topics: Narcissist, narcissistic supply, paranoid, persecutory, schizoid, intimate partner, self,...
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Oct 11, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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My academic work in psychology, psychiatry, neuroscience, mental health: http://www.narcissistic-abuse.com/mediakit.html Envy is the hallmark of narcissism and the prime source of what is known as narcissistic rage. The schizoid self – fragmented, weak, primitive – is intimately connected with narcissism through envy. Narcissists prefer to destroy themselves and to deny themselves rather than endure someone else's happiness, wholeness and "triumph". The narcissist fail his exams...
Topics: narcissist, schizoid, withdrawal, isolation, distancing, relationships, people, loneliness,...
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In the shared fantasy, I refuse to act as a man, partly owing to nondifferentiated gender roles and partly because of Peter Pan Puer Aeternus syndrome: I refuse to grow up and to assume adult chores and responsibilities. I decline to act as an adult would: I don't drive and my sex is immature, autoerotic, objectifying, and sadistic (the woman is a toy to be defiled and degraded). I accept that, in order to persevere and survive within my increasingly more sexless shared fantasy (in which I am...
Topics: shared fantasy, intimate partner, hate, communication, classic, overt, covert, boundaries,...
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Oct 6, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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The narcissist equates love with giving and giving goes hand with hand with an entitlement and license to abuse. Why, when women replace the narcissist as a man (lover, husband), does it cause him mortification? Only women possess this power. 1. The narcissist interacts with women in two roles: child and father. Their rejection recreates the family dynamics (dead mother maternal abandonment). When women reject the narcissist and betray him, they are also doing it as a mother would reject her...
Topics: shared fantasy, intimate partner, hate, communication, classic, overt, covert, boundaries,...
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The narcissist is able to entrain (“brainwash into a hypnotic trance) the codependent because they share common roots.   There are two possible pathological reactions to childhood abuse and trauma: codependence and narcissism. They both involve fantasy as a defense mechanism: the codependent has a pretty realistic assessment of herself, but her view of others is fantastic; the narcissist’s self-image and self-perception are delusional and grandiose, but his penetrating view of others is...
Topics: Narcissist, codependent, borderline, childhood, abuse, trauma, parents, mother, father, solution,...
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Oct 3, 2020 Sam Vaknin
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The somatic narcissist's shared fantasy: admirer (of body functionality, especially sexual prowess and irresistibility), playmate (mainly sexual and in kink), mother (the somatic turned ON by incest - not like cerebral who is turned OFF).   Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store:   https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
Topics: narcissist, somatic, cerebral, shared fantasy, admirer, playmate, mother, incest, sex,...